The Perfect New-Mom Storm: Bad Pregnancies, Torticollis, Bloody Diapers, Mastitis, Postpartum, and a Busy Toddler

I hate being pregnant. I’ve wanted babies since I was a little girl, but pregnancy literally destroyed me… I projectile vomited 12 times a day with both of my kids. Meds didn’t work to keep anything down—even cold water would end up on the wall.

With my first pregnancy, I could mostly sleep it off. The second one? Next level. My 1.5-year-old had zero chill. I puked on her many times and in front of her. She literally began thinking this was a normal human action.

This became a problem when she started mocking my puking beside me in the bathroom. That’s when my “no screen time” rule officially expired. Watching her pretend to puke after eating definitely wasn’t the message I wanted to send to her—ha!

My first daughter was born with a kinked neck, and this meant me and her dad had to take her to physio as a newborn. We also had to hold her neck to one side 12 times a day while she screamed and cried.

On top of that, I felt pressured that “breast is best,” so I tried to nurse her. Every time I did, she had speckles of blood in her diaper. I felt so bad.

The doctor said it was likely an allergy and suggested I cut milk out of my diet. That didn’t help.

Then the doctor said, “Try cutting out soy.” Still nothing. Then peanuts—again, nothing.

The doctor finally told me, “You’re way too small now. The baby won’t get enough nutrition, and neither will you. She has to go on a special formula—Alimentum.”

I was crushed. I went through postpartum depression, and all of this just made it worse. I felt like it was my fault.

When my next baby came, the same thing happened. Only this time, I had a wild toddler to deal with, and at one point, I even had mastitis. Somehow, I didn’t experience postpartum depression this time, but I still felt like I wasn’t good enough. I started to believe my breast milk was poison to my kids.

The doctor told me some kids are just intolerant to human breast milk. That didn’t exactly make me feel much better, but I was so busy with two under two that I didn’t have time to dwell on it. I accepted it the best I could.

Lucky for me, to this day, both of my kids have no known allergies and are growing up healthy and strong.

I hope no other moms feel this pressure. But if they do, I hope I find them—or they find me—so I can be there for them too.

Enjoy some of my favs. that emulates motherhood for me: