Melted Words

For the last couple of months I’ve had a pretty consistent writer’s block. Now, with some goopy melted ice cream, I am chalking up this ridiculous day as writing inspiration.

This day was best described as a gong show. Somehow, in the last 24 hours - my truck broke down, a toilet leaked, the furnace still wasn’t fixed so there was no heat, I had an off teaching day, and when I was about to finally rest in the bath and go to bed early… I spilled noodles in my bath. Then I decided I just wanted a little bit of ice cream before heading to bed, so I walked down into my kitchen… and felt water on my feet.

I don’t know how furnaces work (I’m 100% not handy in this way), but according to Google it would appear there might have been a cross with the furnace being fixed by the repair people and something to do with the fridge/freezer connection.

After seeing a lot of food already defrosted, and a bunch of soggy cardboard between my freezer and fridge, I took out the heavenly hash ice cream. It was mostly liquid already. Still, I had half a second of amusement as I took a couple of bites and thought about how this would be something good to write about later. I also had something good to talk to Grandma about for our frequent calls these days. We actually had a good little laugh about it.

The biggest downside for me was that one of my girls started crying, worrying about how I would keep warm by myself when they went to their dad’s. But I smiled and assured them that I got a lot of comfy blankets, and God got me. Then the other noted that she was surprised I was smiling because she didn’t understand how, when I had all this bad luck, I could still smile and laugh about it. I told her I’m still blessed and now I have something funny to write about!

The loss of the food wasn’t as big of a deal (just super annoying to clean up), but having a medication that needs to be refrigerated is definitely more of an inconvenience. Still, it got me moving to find a solution, rather than stay melted and stuck in the loss.

The motivation of loss is a real thing too. My grandma shared in that same conversation that she was pretty proud of herself for being able to get up and go get the mail by herself after Grandpa not being there with her. She said before he passed she never really could go get the mail, but now that he’s not there, she could, and she feels some type of odd peace and strength knowing that she can.

So although I’ve still made writing deadlines, my recent submissions hadn’t felt like my best work. In addition, I had majorly slacked on my daily journal.

However, in the midst of different levels of chaos, it has started to slowly come back.

I find it odd how my greatest inspiration still usually comes from the bad and hard times - but I’ve come to realize that must just be part of how I process things. Writing is more than just a fun hobby for me; it’s more accurately described as survival and redemption.

Everyone has their own ways of coping - I’m not saying I’m perfect, or that there’s anything wrong with people doing whatever works for them. At one point in my life I might’ve chosen some thc, but now? I honestly don’t remember the last time I partook in anything… wellll, except caffeine and sugar. (I fully admit those are substances too.) Still, I try to take my issues to God first, then write about it. Then go for the ice cream - or whatever leftover Halloween candy is still somehow lurking around. I really need to get rid of that.

When I talked to both my parents separately, they ironically started with the exact same phrase:“When it rains, it pours, hey?”

My response: “Yeah… but flowers need rain to grow. Plus Jesus napped in a storm and walked on water, so I know I’ll be okay.”

I might lose the writing flow again, but for now, I’m going to relish in it. I just hope the flow from this fridge/freezer stops soon - so I can go get some solid ice cream for some solid future writing time.